We Put Our Son in Soccer for the First Time. Mistakes Were Made.

We put our son in soccer for the first time this year. He's 7.5. That's old to start a sport these days. Most of the other kids had been playing for 3 or 4 years by this point. They were dribbling circles around him. The coach needed to show our son how to kick a ball with his foot. Our son was embarrassed. I blamed myself. Pretty sure everyone else blamed me too.

Pictured: a basketball

Growing up I always played sports. We played whatever was in season year-round in our neighborhood, then I also played in our local town leagues. I loved sports. It's different for my son. We barely know anyone in our neighborhood, and kids aren't out in the street playing sports all day anyway. Even if they were, he probably wouldn't want to join in. He could not care less about sports. He once saw a football lying on the ground in our backyard and asked me if it was a basketball. He's more of a theater kid.

Nevertheless, I made the decision to put him in soccer. I ran it by my wife. She helpfully pointed out that she'd never once seen him kick a ball. DULY NOTED. I went ahead anyway. I didn't tell my son. We'll usually discuss these things and make a decision together, but I knew he'd immediately shoot this one down and I wanted him to at least give it a try. So I signed him up, then figured I'd slowly ease him into the idea over the next few months. One of those "it's easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission" situations.

We were a little nervous for him to play. He's a gentle kid, and most of his close friends are girls. He didn't really have any experience with team sports. I wasn't sure how he'd hack it in the rough and tumble world of high stakes 7 year old soccer. I assumed he was young enough that there would be a mix of girls and boys on his team. When I got the email from the league saying he was on an "Under 7 Boys" team, I realized I was in trouble. This was going to be a tough sell. We could be in for a long season.

I emailed the lady that runs the league to ask if there was a Coed team he could join. She let me know they only do those up to about age 5. We had missed our window. She offered to put him on a girls team if we wanted, but we didn't want to cause any commotion. I decided to forge ahead.

I remember playing sports when I was around the age our son is now. There was always that one kid that would show up completely unprepared. I have a memory of this kid Chris showing up to our soccer practice one day in jean shorts and boat shoes. We all had a good laugh behind his back. I don't remember for sure what we were thinking, but I'm guessing we all blamed his parents. I know what we definitely WEREN'T thinking. We weren't thinking, "Oh wow, Chris's parents must be really busy. It's a miracle they got him here to practice at all. They must be trying really hard." No, we definitely didn't think that. We just laughed behind his back. I never expected I'd someday turn into Chris's parent.

Like every family, we've had a lot going on. My Father-in-Law had back surgery in February, and has been recuperating for the past few months. We've been having to manage his house, on top of everything else. Not making excuses, just giving some context. Life gets busy. Soccer fell way to the bottom on the list of priorities. Before I knew it, the season was coming around. By the time I thought to look for cleats and shin guards, every place was cleaned out. I hadn't had a chance to practice with our son, like I had promised. He already didn't want to play soccer, and now I was sending him in completely unprepared.

We got off to a ROUGH start. We had to miss the first practice, so he started out in a game. He didn't have cleats. He didn't have shin guards. He didn't have any idea how to play soccer. We told his coaches he'd be happy to just stay on the sidelines and root everyone on, but they wanted to get him involved. We told him to just run towards the ball so it looked like he was trying, but stay out of the action. He did as he was told, but still somehow managed to get hit in the nuts. This did not help matters. He got the wind knocked out of him, and came over to us on the sideline. He was having a terrible time.

Pictured: Me doing my one job

As a parent, pretty much your main job is to prepare your kid for life. Give them some kind of guidance as they try to navigate the world. I barely know what I'm doing in life half the time, so I can't always be that helpful, but I definitely could've done better in this particular instance. I could have at least shown him how to kick a ball. I had one job, and failed spectacularly.

We had a family meeting after that first game, and he was ready to quit. I talked him into sticking with it, but I didn't feel good about it. I promised we'd play together before his next practice. He agreed to at least hang in there another week. We played together a bit in the backyard, then went to the next practice. I braced myself for the worst. To my utter amazement, he had a great time. Full credit to his coaches, because they made it so fun for the kids. They had cool drills and activities for them to play, and it was so much less pressure than being in a game. He loved it.

The rest of the season went better than expected. Practice was always great. Games were a little tough. One of my mom's friends passed away unexpectedly during the season, and the funeral was the same day as one of his games. I asked him if he'd rather go to the funeral with me, or the game with his mom. "Ooh, that's a tough one," he told me. He eventually decided to go to his game that day, but struggled mightily with the decision. Another time he got in the car after a game and announced, "YES! The worst part of my day is over." He hung in there though.

He made a lot of progress over the season. He wasn't dribbling circles around anyone, but he could at least kick and pass the ball. More importantly, he was having fun. Even my wife admitted that even though it had been rocky, it had been a good experience overall. Whether he'll play again next season remains to be seen, but for now I'm taking this as a Win. Or at least a Draw.