So, what would you say you do here?

Pictured: My family asking about my day

I've been a stay-at-home dad for a few years now. People look at you funny when they hear that you stay at home. I can see the gears turning in their head. "Eh? What's this guy up to all day?" And that's just with my own family. It's even worse in the outside world. Amazingly, I have somehow still not come up with an answer to the dreaded "So, what do you do?" question.

I've always had trouble with that question, even when I was working. I mean, obviously I knew how to say "Oh, I'm a technical writer" but I was never really comfortable talking about work. I have a real aversion to talking about myself, and it's even worse when it comes to talking about work. My wife knows this about me, and would often jump in to help out when work came up in a conversation. Not because she likes to speak for me, more just to help me out. These days she prefers to just sit back and watch gleefully as I squirm through an answer.

I don't get out of the house much, but when I do and am meeting someone for the first time, work inevitably comes up. My typical conversation goes something like this. "So Jake, what do you do?" Standard, typical small talk which immediately flusters me. "Oh me? Yeah, I'm a stay-at home dad." Awkward pause. "But my son is in school fulltime. So he's not really at home with me." Awkward silence that I feel like I need to fill with an explanation no one asked for. "So, yeah...I guess I'm just staying at home?" Cue everyone looking like they want to jump out a window. Myself included. Like I said, I'm great fun at parties.

It's not like I'm sitting around all day. My wife works from home occasionally and is amazed how I'm constantly on the go. I took my son along on one of his days off recently, and he was ready to tap out by 1030 in the morning. It's not fun, glamorous work, but it's work that needs to be done. Alot of it is just chores, but it's the daily work that keeps the house running smoothly. Without it, our house would be pure chaos.

I remember hearing someone once say that their stay-at-home mom used to describe the daily grind of running a household as "the work of the world". All the behind the scenes work that goes on, and no one really notices, until the laundry is piling up, dishes are piled in the sink, or your dog poops on your wife's yoga mat (true story). This is "the work of the world". Maybe I'll try that out next time at a party. "Oh me? Oh you know. I do the work of the world." That's bound to make me a real hit at parties.